'Till Death Do Us Part'? Family Life in Byzantine Monasteries

Despite the fact that those who devoted themselves to the ascetic life were supposed in so doing to renounce all commitments to their families, including their spouse, parents and children, this was frequently not the case in Byzantium. In many cases the opportunity of continuing links with family members constituted an important factor in the choice of a monastic life, especially for women, with the most significant and closest relationship in this regard being that between mother and daughter. It was not uncommon that women who took monastic vows ended their lives in the company of their nearest female relatives and in foundations especially created to support and protect the interests of family members. The life of an aristocratic woman could therefore consist of three separate stages: childhood, spent primarily with female family members in the 'women's quarters' with little contact with males outside family members, married life with a husband and children of both sexes, and retirement to a monastic institution when they would return to the society of their mothers, aunts, daughters and sisters. The empress Theodora Palaiologina, widow of Michael VIII Palaiologos, proclaimed in the typikon for her convent of Lips that 'monastic law makes different provisions, separating [nuns] completely from their parents, and enjoining renunciation even of their children, let alone their siblings or other relatives or friends and acquaintances of long standing', and the emphasis on the importance of children, especially daughters, is significant. Theodora's monastic rule, like those of other women founders of monastic institutions, shows a clear expectation of continued contact with family members in her institution and takes particular care to detail the privileged conditions for those imperial women who chose to join their relatives there.